So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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