I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Randomize
