wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
