she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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