I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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