I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
It's never too late to be topless.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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