We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
