It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
