If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
im calling her cock vulture from now on
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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