I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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