Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
