Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
