I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
handjob tips. give me some.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
