How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
