my mouth tastes like poor choices
I think im going to throw up on grandma
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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