but the lizard people decide everything anyway
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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