No awkward lesbian experiences without me
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
