I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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