umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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