she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
