im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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