If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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