he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize