Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
