Too much gin, very little bucket
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
