OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
