For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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