hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
