Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
