Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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