i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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