Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i would punch a child for taco bell
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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