The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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