Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
No subtext here. People are naked.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize