I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
