I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
