dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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