and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
