but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
