You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
My pussy is not your playground.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Randomize
