Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
