yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Randomize
