TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
