We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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