I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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