think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Just invented taco cereal.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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