literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
ok first of all what the fuck
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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