have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
