i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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