I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
