I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
