the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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