five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
