Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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