i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
