I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
