I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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