That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Enjoy the penises
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize