weddingsv make me drug and hornr
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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