hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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