Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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