You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
