We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
accomplished twins. life is a go
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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